guilt in mind with pleasure

This is not about what happen today, this about what happened for last year not to be exact on the date.
I just have a love affair with Nadel nana Catura
It was exciting on the first time because having another girl at the same time with my wife, but after that it was hard that i almost tell lie every time my wife ask me were i'm going and were i'm.
Having that relationship for past 10 months it's difficult for both of us, she was telling lie on her sister and to her mother and because of our relationship she also breakup with his boyfriend.
My wife already found out our relationship, they even texting and having some conversation but still nothing happened, for third time around it was the same until her parents found out what happening and even we already caught by her parents on boarding house of his brother that i was sleeping there.
When we parted, I thought that i was lost everything for me but it's not everything i only lost myself.
I was thankful for my wife for not giving up and still accept me for what i've done.
Damage is already there and i will say sorry for those people who involve and for those i hurt most specially my wife and my kids.
What happened for the past we cannot change and its already happened.
People may know what happened but they don't really know what happen there.
And i'm thankful for those friends that always there for supporting specially "bubblegoo and fridaymass" you rock.
I was working for almost a month now and writing this is like my cruelness start last year with this month having fun and having premarital sex or what you say it pleasure with someone else.
Now I know having love affair or having relationship with other when your committed is not a good choice and I should not entertain somebody when you are in a relationship.
It is hard to go back were should i be and is difficult to get the trust again that broken for so many times, still need to do what i know is right live life with normal with them specially with my kids.
Hopefully my kids will understand me that in such reason i've had a mistake that will never be erase and it's already part of my life.
They are correct history repeat itself, with the second time around but it was not big deal. It's not me. :D

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-neina-