i was in the room looking at the window.... it was the same old routine that i'm doing...
always check email's and checking some picture's that i have, thinking that if i have to go back again in that time i will go the same path....
i remember when i go to dedication of my brother....
i was inspired on the testimony of AUP student that get the number 1 place on nursing board exam's...
i almost cry when she was talking and delivering her speech to the dedication ceremony....
and thinking that i was in the middle of nowhere at that time.....
i was smiling after that some reason to smile and some reason to be sad....
if being sad will give other happiness... it will be ok being sad for that person you really love...
i was sorry for what i've done... these may change everything but still i cannot handle everything... they will only see what outside me but what inside me only those who really love me see's what i'm feeling...
i may not ready for what happened... but still needed to do this...
i don't know why i'm still doing such thing that i know it will hurt people that i love....or it's just a nature of me that never been seen before....
i rather now go out and take some space... i was at home most of these week....
i was accepting everything.... that they will say because of what i've done... i know i need to face them for what i've done... but it will not change me... i already do that for a reason... and that reason it's keeping me standing...
they can take everything from me but i'm sure that my hearts is only belong to one person...... thank you for everything....
i will go out today... find some answer and hopefully i will be ok after this... i mean find myself where should i go.....
-neina-
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