Happy 4th Birthday Andrei Cyeil

Andrei Cyeil

it's been awhile not going here....

hmmm... kinda busy for this past month...
i've not visited my blog....
what happened was i'm busy playing mafia wars... hahaha
enjoying with new clan that given me chance to improved my character...
added new friends.... having war that not attacking just enduring attack of other clan...
how i'm stupid while working i'm just playing mw.... hahaha
also activated my plurk account again.... seen some new friends...
currently just thinking now if i should activate account that not active for viewing only... hmmmm..... this would be interesting.... let's see the development...
i'm just enjoying what i have... enjoy most of the time when i'm at work playing mw....
there are only limited time for me in this world... and there should be no turning back it's always moving forward...
misses my kulit and waiting my precious one that take for granted when i'm was not me....

-neina-

Lubog sa baha ang McArthur Village

Pagdating ko last Saturday morning, baha na sa highway hangang hita ko.
Tapos sa amin a Village mababaw pa naman nakakalakad pa ako sa tubig.
Natulog lang ako pag gising ko nung gabi ng Sabado lubog na pagawaan namin.
Ai napalusong tuloy akos sa baha hangang Sunday na ng umaga iyun.
Dami nga nabasang stock ai sayang pero ok lang basta mahalaga ligtas lang kami lahat.
Gising lang ako buong Magdamag pa facebook facebook lang upload ng picture.
Nung lunes ng umaga mataas pa rin baha parang walang pinagbago, ai wala na pa naman na kami pagkain.
Ayun kina umagahan ai lumusong na kami sa baha para lang makabili ng pagkain tuloy grocery na rin.
Tapos ai sabay video pag uwi para naman may souvenir naman kami kay falcon.
Naghintay ako na humupa yung baha para makapasok ako nang gabi :( kaso 4 inches lang binaba ng tubig.
Kaya ngayon online ako para mag support sa Center na pinapasukan ko, "no pay" nga lang.
Maya konti matutulog na ako at pagod na ako mag remote support at mag ayos ng database namin.
Sana wag na umalan dilim pa naman kalangitan.
Sana paggising ko wala na baha. :D

-neina-

guilt in mind with pleasure

This is not about what happen today, this about what happened for last year not to be exact on the date.
I just have a love affair with Nadel nana Catura
It was exciting on the first time because having another girl at the same time with my wife, but after that it was hard that i almost tell lie every time my wife ask me were i'm going and were i'm.
Having that relationship for past 10 months it's difficult for both of us, she was telling lie on her sister and to her mother and because of our relationship she also breakup with his boyfriend.
My wife already found out our relationship, they even texting and having some conversation but still nothing happened, for third time around it was the same until her parents found out what happening and even we already caught by her parents on boarding house of his brother that i was sleeping there.
When we parted, I thought that i was lost everything for me but it's not everything i only lost myself.
I was thankful for my wife for not giving up and still accept me for what i've done.
Damage is already there and i will say sorry for those people who involve and for those i hurt most specially my wife and my kids.
What happened for the past we cannot change and its already happened.
People may know what happened but they don't really know what happen there.
And i'm thankful for those friends that always there for supporting specially "bubblegoo and fridaymass" you rock.
I was working for almost a month now and writing this is like my cruelness start last year with this month having fun and having premarital sex or what you say it pleasure with someone else.
Now I know having love affair or having relationship with other when your committed is not a good choice and I should not entertain somebody when you are in a relationship.
It is hard to go back were should i be and is difficult to get the trust again that broken for so many times, still need to do what i know is right live life with normal with them specially with my kids.
Hopefully my kids will understand me that in such reason i've had a mistake that will never be erase and it's already part of my life.
They are correct history repeat itself, with the second time around but it was not big deal. It's not me. :D

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-neina-

***EnGinEeRiNg SoLuTiOn Of LoVe***

So many times I tried my dear,
to satisfy the way I feel.
I wonder what words would mean to
whole of heart I want to tell.

I tried Trigo and Calculus
to calculate these crazy thoughts
I tired Physics and Chemistry but
my unknown increased by three.

I plot it on the drawing board to find
and look fot its magnitude.
But as I plot its boundary, again it
is extended with infinity.

I tried to add it all at first
but what I got is not the best.
So I subtract it from the sum but
the difference is negative one.

I multiplied it over again
to see if I could win the game.
But the product I got was very bad;
the same result when I divided.

So what I used is Algebra
to solve it all with formula.
And with the aid of Geometry,
I got the answer 1-4-3

by:~"ARiESZ"~

-neina-

holy week 2011

sarap umuwi ng baler, kasama ko kulit at nancy...
nag enjoy si kulit sa pag uwi namin dun halos ayaw na nga nya umahon sa dagat ng maligo kami... negro na tuloy sya.....
first time ko umuwi ng baler na hinde man lang nakainom ng kahit anong alak...:(
puro tubig lang ininum ko...:)) maski lagi ako kasama sa inuman... tubig na isang pitsel ang katapat...
nakakapanibago nga naman maski mga tropa ko ai ayaw maniwala na hinde ako uminom mula ng dumating sa baler hangat umalis ako....
nakaka isang buwan na pala ako nakatambay... 2 months na rin nakakalipas ng mag birthday ako...:)
isang buwan na rin bonding nga baga kay kulit....? :D
naghihintay lang yata ako ng trabaho... or dito na lang ako sa bahay mag work... :D
sabi ko sa mga tropa next time na lang at bawi ako sa kanila....

-neina-

Labor Hospital

kaninang umaga mga quarter to 11 ng ako ai umalis dito sa bahay para bumisita sa isang kaibigan, kabatch at dating kasintahan.....
kinakabahan ako na makita sya sa ganon kalagayan.... parang ang hirap kasi ang balitang dumatin sa akin ai grabe... pero may mga nakausap naman ako nasabi ai ok naman na kailangan na lang ng operasyon...
kahapon nga ai naoperahan sya para lagyan bakal sa baba ng kanyang mata...
mga 12pm na yata ng dumating ako sa cubao at hanapin ang hospital na pinagdalahan sa kanya... ai may binigay naman address sa akin at direksyon kung paano pumunta, ang kabatch din namin...
nakarating nga ako sa hospital at nagtanong sa guard ai tinuru naman ako sa surgical ward.... ai ang hirap pala maghanap at dami palang division dun....
dalawang beses ko tinawagan ang kabatch namin at hinde ko nga makita... at tinanong ko pa kung ano ginamit na apelido... :) sabi lang nya sa akin ai belen...
halos kalahating oras din akong nag hahanap hangan mapansin ako ng isang doctor at tinanung ako kung saan ako punta.... ang sabi ko lang ai "sa inoperahan po kahapon... si cleo dorothy belen...."
ang sabi lang sa akin ng doctor ai tanungin ko sa mga nurse sa surgical ward... sabi ko naman ai hinde nga po nila kilala ung name.... kaya tinuro niya ako sa admiting...
dali dali naman ako pumunta dun at gusto ko rin sya makita ai..... nag hintay pa ako dun ng mga 15-20mins kasi kagagaling lang sa break.....
nang makausap ko na ung nagbabantay sa admiting... dali ko tinanong ang pangalan nya.... at saka palang ako naituro kung saan area sya....
pag punta ko nga sa area ai nagtanong ako sa nurse station at naituro naman ako sa tamang kwarto....
pag pasok ko ng kwarto... natahimik lang ako.... pinagmasdan ko kung anong nangyari sa kanya.. kasalukuyan binibihisan sya... at hinde pa nga tapos at ayaw naman nya mag palagay ng damit....
hinde ako makapaniwal kasi kala ko hinde ko na sya makikita... at masaya naman ako na makita sya at malaman na ok na syan kailangan na lang nya mag pahinga...
tumabay lang ako at nakipag kwentohan sa kanyang nanay at pagminsan sa kanya at nagigising naman sya tapos tutulog... at antukin nga sya...
habang nakikipag kwentohan ako sa kanyang nanay... pinagmamasdan ko lang ang kanyang mukha... matagal na rin kami hinde nagkita ai... taon na yata...
nakakatuwang isipin at nun ko lang nakakwentuhan ang kanyang nanay.... nalulungkot lang ako at wala man lang ako maitulong....
bago ako umalis hinawakan ko kamay nya at sabi ko lang pagaling sya... hinde na nya ako maangkas sa motor nya pag nalasing ako.... pabirong sabi ko sa kanya...
saka sabi ko wag syang masungit.... tinawanan lang ako at sabi nya "hinde naman saka salamat sa pagbisita"

salamat kay red sa address na binigay nya at direction
salamat din kay ateth na nag bigay update sa akin

-neina-

people without vision --- perish ---

it was Saturday when i decided to go out with batchmate and talked for awhile...
we just eat lunch for him and then dinner for me...:)
after finishing eating we just talk some complication that i made and he just give me a drawing....
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i was smile when were a talking he give me some kind of encouragement....
at that time i was thinking and thinking for the past 10 months... what happened in that 10 months actually it was lot happened specially on my life i was not able to control myself even i should...
i was beaten my desired.... and having experienced such i almost given up all i have... that was to bad to think...
i almost give up my everything for the one i love..... my only regrets is that i don't see the whole picture i just look at one side....
after that short talked with cocoy... i always looking his drawing the he made for me to understand what really is happening....
our conversation end with smile and told me that it's my choice what should i do, he just give some advice try or not to try....
i was lucky that i was able to do some of what he told.... :D
but i cannot do everything on it... i will do what i can...
it is difficult now because.... knowing that "i need to endure everything and live normal even it's not normal...."

-neina-

trip to baler

after several days here in baler....
i though that it will be the same and will be ok going back here....
i just finding something that i wan to find... seems that it is not the answer....
i'll be back again in my real world after having fun and lot of thinking....
still i have not finding a new job..."tinatamad na yata ako mag trabaho ai..."
anyway i will go back in my house i know that going to baler have lot things to happened....
she still insist that i'll be with you going to baler....:)) i wish that but it will not happened anymore....
still having hard time thinking for nothing...
still i'm lost....

-neina-

ready or not ready......

i was in the room looking at the window.... it was the same old routine that i'm doing...
always check email's and checking some picture's that i have, thinking that if i have to go back again in that time i will go the same path....
i remember when i go to dedication of my brother....
i was inspired on the testimony of AUP student that get the number 1 place on nursing board exam's...
i almost cry when she was talking and delivering her speech to the dedication ceremony....
and thinking that i was in the middle of nowhere at that time.....
i was smiling after that some reason to smile and some reason to be sad....
if being sad will give other happiness... it will be ok being sad for that person you really love...
i was sorry for what i've done... these may change everything but still i cannot handle everything... they will only see what outside me but what inside me only those who really love me see's what i'm feeling...
i may not ready for what happened... but still needed to do this...
i don't know why i'm still doing such thing that i know it will hurt people that i love....or it's just a nature of me that never been seen before....
i rather now go out and take some space... i was at home most of these week....
i was accepting everything.... that they will say because of what i've done... i know i need to face them for what i've done... but it will not change me... i already do that for a reason... and that reason it's keeping me standing...
they can take everything from me but i'm sure that my hearts is only belong to one person...... thank you for everything....
i will go out today... find some answer and hopefully i will be ok after this... i mean find myself where should i go.....

-neina-

another conversation

yesterday early morning i was browsing my site because i was so bored at that time....
i was shock when she ask me regarding i still love you.... and i cannot answer right away and i don't give any answer at all.
she said "i know you still love her i'm 100% sure on that, why are you doing this...? you can go back to her if you want...."
my only answer to her is "i need to be ok and to be with you...."
she said "your doing this for her.... mahal na mahal mo nga sya hinde mo kayang saktan at kalimutan, gagawiin mo lahat para sa kanya......"
i was so confuse for that conversation..... knowing that i need to do this......
i can only say that it's make difficult day and day.....
i hope i can manage this and things will be ok.....
it's harder now than i think before going to this situation....:((tears)

-neina-

... a new beginings...

i'ts almost a month since my birthday..... and i was so happy that day.... having interview on my birthday... but now i will start a new beginning with no work only me... i hope i can find a job that will give me new idea and improve me.... i was thankful for that day, because i'm with the one i want to be with... thank you so much... i will change everything i will start from scratch.... hope this will change if not i will go back where i belong...

-neina-

sadness.....

i was so sad for what happening and even i don't know what to do....
still i stand by with the old folk.
i was not got to online for awhile hope it will help.....
i don't want all my love will vanis by anger..... this was my fear if my anger is beating me...
i don't want to happen this... cause the one i love will suffer most rather than me....
i need to endure every pain every sadness that will come.... even myself will destroy... so my anger is still anger not the one i fear to happen....
for the past day.... it was difficult to adjust.... but i don't know how long i can stand for it.....
i was always crying every time i was thinking that another day was past and i was still standing....

--neina--

. . . . i . . . .

i was sitting and thinking of something that i will do.....
i was wondering if i can still do this after what happened in my life...
it was different for what i been thinking....
i almost give everything for someone that i want to be with, it seems that it was so hard doing that......
i was scared for what will happened next...
i may not ready for what will happen but i will face it what ever is it...
i know my choice is the right one....